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Our 25^th Year of Useful Information For Your Business and a

Couple of Laughs to Make Your Day Brighter!

Management . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The higher you go in an organization, the more out of touch you can get with what’s really happening at the point of greatest impact, the point of contact with the customer. You also lose your feel for the real operations of your organization. Part of that is inevitable; you have “more important things to do”. But when you lose touch with your customers or employees, you enter a well-disguised danger zone. You’ll soon step on a mine and wonder why you didn’t see it coming. Walk through your business regularly. Talk with employees and customers (especially those who will tell you the truth and not just what you like to hear). Occasionally, do the job: sell to a customer, pack a shipment, type a memo. It pays in the long run. (Reflections for Managers)

Cool Whip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A delicious blend of sugar, wax and condom lube. What’s inside - with an explanation of the ingredients:

Water: It’s the main ingredient. But like any whipped product, Cool Whip contains a high percentage of air. At 41 cents per ounce, you’re buying mostly water and air for just over twice what it would cost to whip real cream yourself.

Corn Syrup and High-Fructose Corn Syrup: Sugar by other names. Corn syrup is mostly glucose. High-fructose corn syrup is corn syrup treated with amylase and other enzymes, which together help convert glucose into fructose. A diet high in fructose is known to make lab mice fatter than other diets, so keep your research animals away from Cool Whip.

Hydrogenated Coconut and Palm Kernel Oil: Cool Whip needs to feel like whipped cream in the mouth without actually being, you know, made with cream. One cheap, reliable way to replicate the texture is by using semi-solidifying plant oils: bubble high-pressure hydrogen through them. Of course, if not done completely, the results is trans fat. These days, Kraft avoids that.

Polysorbate 60: Polysorbates are made by polymerizing ethylene oxide (a precursor to antifreeze) with a sugar alcohol derivative. The result can be a detergent, an emulsifier, or, in the case of polysorbate 60, a major ingredient in some sexual lubricants.

Sorbitan Monostearate: Chemists call this stuff synthetic wax, and it’s sometimes used as a hemorrhoid cream. It’s one of the magical substances that keep Cool Whip from turning to liquid over time in the fridge.

Natural and Artificial Flavorings: Cool Whip doesn’t really taste like much, but Kraft’s recipe for blandness is a trade secret. That means the company doesn’t have to disclose the specific flavorings.

Sodium Caseinate: Also common in powdered non-dairy creamer, this protein derived from cow milk helps oil and water mix.

Xanthan and Guar Gums: These are natural thickeners, and together they provide more viscosity than either does alone. Guar also helps retard the formation of ice crystals, another key to preserving fluffiness. (Patrick De Justo in Wired)

Where Credit Is Due . . . . . . . . . . . It’s no secret that Americans love their plastic. The average U.S. consumer has four credit cards, according to a recent nationwide sampling of 3 million consumer credit files. The most credit-happy states: New Hampshire and New Jersey, where 20% of consumers carry 10 cards or more. Meanwhile, some 17% of credit-card users in Alaska and Hawaii exhaust at least half of their available credit limit. Here are some national averages:

Percentage of U.S. Consumers Who: Have at least two credit cards - 51%. Have at least 10 credit cards - 14%. Use at least 50% of available credit - 14%. (BusinessWeek)

NEVER leave a bored partner alone in Wal-Mart!!!! . . . . . . . . Mr. & Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that Mr. Fenton go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store:
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below:
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while you were shopping in Wal-Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of prune juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 9: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone - "Code 3 in Housewares" ... and watched what happened.
5. Aug. 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept. 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept. 15: Set up a tent in the Camping Dept. and told other shoppers he'd invite them in, if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding Dept.
8. Sept. 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and screams "Why can't they just leave me alone?"
9. Oct. 4: Looked right into the Security camera; used it as a mirror to pick his nose.
10. Nov. 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Dept., asked the clerk if he knew where to find the anti-depressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. Dec 6: In the Auto Department, practiced his "Madonna" look using different size funnels.
13. Dec. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. Dec. 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he fell to the floor in a fetal position and screamed "No! No! It's those voices again ! ! !"

And last, but not least . .
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" (LaFree)

Home Inventory . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you go to “http://knowyourstuff.org” website you can download a free home inventory program to help you keep track of what you have in your home. If you had a fire, could you give your insurance company a “complete” list of the items that were lost? If you were burglarized, do you have a list of everything in each room? This software will help you create a room-by-room inventory of your personal possessions. (McDaniel)

Not Just For Business (But Maybe Personal Calls Too) . . . . . . . . . How do you get buyers to return your call? First, you have to understand what problems keep your clients up at night. The issues that concern them are the key to leaving a voice-mail message, and getting your call returned. If you leave a bunch of malarkey about who you are and what you do, they won’t care, and won’t return your call. There are 5 guys calling about the same thing - you’re just one of them. If you are going to leave a message, you have to be able to give enough value or reason to get the call returned. Know what concerns them, and leave a message about it - profit, loyalty, sales, morale, family, kids - something in terms of the prospect that says, “I have earned a return call.” (The Little Red Book of Sales Answers)

Cancel My Wedding . . . . . . . . . . . Ouch, here comes yet another blow to the notion of marriage as romance. First there was the legalistic prenuptial agreement to protect assets. Now Fireman’s Fund is offering a “change of heart” insurance policy to protect against the runaway bride / groom syndrome. It costs just $26 and covers up to $25,000 in expenses and deposits for such festivities as the rehearsal dinner and the reception. Fireman’s, like other insurers, already offered insurance against wedding cancellations due to weather and the like. But the company says it got lots of inquiries for a change-of-heart rider after Jennifer Wilbanks famously ditched her fiancé two years ago, claiming she was abducted. Brides and grooms can’t buy the rider, only interested parties, like parents (and, really, who knows better if a kid has cold feet?) There are 2.4 million weddings in the U.S. each year. Maybe 10,000 get called off, says wedding web site 0 The Knot. (Carrie Coolidge - Forbes)

Service . . . . . . . . At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word “service.” It’s the act of doing things for other people. Then I heard these terms which reference the word SERVICE: Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service, Telephone Service, Civil Service, City and County Public Service, Customer Service, Service Stations . . . . . Then I became confused about the word “service.” This is not what I thought “service” meant. So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to “service” a few of his cows. BAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those “service” agencies are doing to us. I hope you now are as enlightened as I am. (Campbell)

• 3^rd Dumbest: “Have you ever heard of us?” If you have to ask, you’re probably not well-known anyway.

• 2^nd Dumbest: “Can you tell me a bit about your company?” This means you were too lazy or too stupid to find out.

• The Dumbest: “What will it take to get your business?” All you’re really asking is “How low do yo want me to drop my price?” Sale or no sale, you lose.

If you’re a professional, you already know what it will take to get their business. And you should be able to confidently tell them that you know. “Knowing what it will take” is one of the least used and most powerful techniques to getting new business. Your job is to master it. (Entrepreneur)

Lighting Control ● Home Automation ● Security ● Home Theater ● Distributed Audio/Video ● Central Vacuum

Home Technology, Simplified: One-Touch is a full service home technology company. Simplify your daily routines with an automation system. Imagine your security, lighting, heating/air conditioning working together to save you both time and money. No more setting back the thermostat at night and running around turning off all of your lights before bed. Simply push a button labeled "Goodnight" and let your home automation system do the work. By simply arming your security system "Away", have all of your lights turn off and your heating/air conditioning set back. With One-Touch of a button called "Entertain", have all your lights go to a preset level while your favorite music turns on at a soft level throughout your home. Don't forget, you can control your home from anywhere in the world via the internet. The possibilities are endless!